I’m an overthinker and I usually think too much even for something that does not really need to worry. Lately, I have several questions about my surroundings. Like, me as a woman, how men think about me? Is it okay for me to have several qualifications for my future husband? Am I worth to have some qualifications about him? Am I good enough to have my own qualification about him? Or what will I do after I graduate? Actually, I plan to graduate next year in March, probably, if there is nothing problem and I hope so. Those both are serious matters but I have quite not serious and urgent things to think. But I can’t stop thinking about it. Like am I mature enough? Why do I feel I’m kinda childish and not mature enough compared to some Korean teenagers or who are the same line with me I watch on Produce 101? Hm… is it a simple thought? Or is it serious one? It feels not serious because I compare it with the will-be-idols ones but it’s quite serious for me because it’s about my character which I always think character, values, principles, are the most important ones for someone. And it becomes more important to me and I consider to keep build up myself to have a good and right value and keep it also spread it to others after I deeply learned about constructivism.

And well… here I am to talk about something related to character, attitude, and manner, or maybe value also included. First of all, I’m not trying frame the one I’ll talk about on this post in a bad image and I don’t really think I’m better than him. But because of this circumstance, I feel there is something wrong. There is something he should do either than gave me an excuse and apologized.

Last night, I went out with my mom for hanging out with her friends and we came to a coffee shop. Oh yeah, here I am in Belitung for spending my Ied Mubarak holiday. And here, there are sooooooo many coffee shops, that’s why it’s called as 1001 coffee shops town. We were at that coffee shop since 10 pm. My mom had chat with her friend and I was busy reading my novel while my mom’s friend’s daughter, Sisi met her friends separately. After some hours passed, Sisi backed to that coffee shop because it was too late already, it was past midnight and we wanted to go home. But she recognized someone we know was there too. He is hm… my ‘friend’ and we used to be quite close to each other. And he sat quite far from our table. And at that time I didn’t wear my glasses because I was reading my novel so I didn’t see him. And even I wore my glasses I couldn’t see him clearly because I assume my sight decreases again. Oh! 

We looked at him to make sure about it. And he looked at us back. Even Sisi tried to look him closer to really make sure about it. But… the problem is… even we looked at each other he didn’t try to greet me and my mom. And it’s annoyed me. Not because we used to be close. No! But because I do really think, seriously think, what he did is not gentle. It’s quite rude. Not only to me but to my mom too. My mom got annoyed although she tried to take it easy because she looked he smiled when we looked at him but he did nothing. Even when we really wanted to back home, he didn’t move from his seat. And… unfortunately, my mom chose the road that passed his seat and I too hated to greet him even I just rose my hand.

And here what I thought about this… 

At first, my thought was related to gender and feminism. Actually, I’m not a feminist. And I don’t really think gender inequality exists especially in Indonesia. Equality in my term is about social equality which females also have the right to participate in the society and have the same opportunity with the male for jobs even politics. I still think there are several issues that can’t be equalized between males and females like the responsibilities in family, the mother has her own responsibilities and task and so does father. And I know and realize even feminist want to equalize many things between males and females, it won’t be complete. Why? Because males and females have different abilities especially physical abilities. It can be seemed on the differences between males and females categories in sports.

And this matter... is not included in gender equality in my opinion. Because it relates to something that many people say as the relationship. And I have that background with that man. Where I always think if it relates to the relationship, the man should be the active one, the man should be the first one starts many things. That’s why I think I shouldn’t greet him first. He should because he is a man. And a man should act like a gentleman. First. 

Second, there were my mom and her friend and Sisi. At least he should show his respect to my mom. That was not his first time met my mom, he already met my mom several times before and they know each other. And they looked each other at that moment. So they recognized each other. It wouldn’t be fun if I or my mom had greeted him at first. It wouldn’t! It would hurt our pride instead. Because… my mom is older. And my mom and I are women. It wasn’t an appropriate way to treat women.

After backed home, my mom couldn’t stop commenting about it. She doesn’t like it. And she suggested us, me and my younger brothers to not be like him. Just make it as an example we shouldn’t imitate. 

My last sentence will be a question.

Is what I think about this right?